F*ck Wizards of the Coast and Dungeons and Dragons

Now is the time for #RPGate!

Fuck Wizards of the Coast and Dungeons and Dragons.

I was going to put the following personal commentary at the end of this blog, but I know people don’t read any more so, while Part 2 is actually my end-of-article commentary, I place it at the beginning so there’s a higher chance you’ll actually read it.

So, yes, Part 2 comes before Part 1.

Part 2

Listen, I am often times intentionally hyperbolic. Typically, when I spout out hyperbolic rants I say them for effect to get you to react. Don’t get me wrong, I always believe what I say to some degree, but I don’t usually mean it with the vitriol I express.

In the case of this blog post I need to be very clear with you: I mean what I am about to say without hesitation, reservation, or regard to whether you are bothered or offended by it. If I lose a friend (or friends) over this, it will sadden me, but at some point I need to take a stand and if you can’t join me in this I have no use for you as a human being.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Make no mistake, blue and pink haired social justice warriors (who don’t even play Dungeons and Dragons!) are the evil. Sure, in this respect my words are no different than theirs — and you wouldn’t necessarily be wrong if you said, “Aren’t you acting just like them?”  However, I also believe that sometimes you need to fight fire with fire.

None of you wanted to listen to me when I told you they truly believe you and I are evil, yet here we are.  Coincidentally, when you look at both words and actions you can clearly see they are the evil.

We do not seek to destroy this hobby or its tropes, because we know they harm no one.  We know this is a hobby of escapism and fantasy; that no one in real life is actually an orc. No one in real life is represented by any fictitious monster. No one needs to be concerned about orcs who supposedly culturally appropriate… something.

Don’t let these SJW, NPC mental midgets destroy this hobby. Don’t let them make you feel guilty when you have done nothing wrong.  There is nothing wrong with fantasy racism; there is everything wrong with real world racism!  Don’t let them throw their brand of grievance shenanigans in your face with regard to a game of made up creatures in fictitious lands.

Stand up to their authoritarian, puritanical sensitivity bullshit!

If you start (or if you continue) to purchase Wizards of the Coast / Dungeons and Dragons products, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM! There is no longer any excuse you can give to justify pandering to these social justice puritans.  Not only will I not respect your decision to purchase the products, I will not respect you as a person — this includes people I know and consider my friends.  If you continue to patronize and purchase Wizards of the Coast / Dungeons and Dragons products you are complicit in the ruination of Dungeons and Dragons (as if it wasn’t already), and the progression of this nonsensical bullshit within the tabletop RPG hobby as a whole.

People said it these fools wouldn’t harm our movies; look at them now.

People said this wouldn’t happen to comics; look at them now.

People continue to say this won’t happen role-playing games; look at them now!

Do not help perpetuate the funding of this brand of crazy, ignorant, authoritarian group-think. Do not help them take over this beloved hobby. When you purchase these products you promote and facilitate this garbage, and give a voice to people WHO DON’T EVEN PLAY THE GAME!  If you give money to these supposedly ‘woke’ assholes you are perpetuating their nonsense, and are LITERALLY exacerbating the problem. If you can’t see this, you are ignorant and blind, if you don’t care… fuck you.

The only way to send a message to these assholes is to boycott new product, or to move on from DnD and go play other games — such as Astonishing Swordsmen and Sorcerers of Hyperborea or Forbidden Lands.

Why do I have this much vitriol over a game? Why do I not want to let people play the game as they see fit?

First of all, you are always welcome to play the game at your table as you see fit. With that said, this issue is bigger than a single game or even the tabletop RPG hobby. These are the retards who start to impose these asinine rules at conventions and during officially sanctioned games (e.g. Adventurers League).

These asshats ruined Star Wars; comic books; cartoons; actual, real world history; and have the gall to call you (and me) the bad guys. I don’t care if they homebrew some bullshit ‘sensitivity orcs;’ however, that stupidity does not belong in a canon Dungeons and Dragons product.

Fuck Wizards of the Coast and fuck anyone who supports this nonsense.

Just as #Comicsgate is a resounding success, and is only growing larger, it is time for #RPGGate… no, #RPGate. It’s time to support independent creators who don’t give in to gender studies rejects, male feminists, and other irrational people. Support creators who understand the difference between reality and fantasy; who don’t try to equate some fantasy monster with anything in the real world; who understand that social conflict (like this!) actually create good and interesting stories.

#TTRPGate #RPGate #CancelWotC #FuckDnD


I don’t type many blogs. Usually, when I have something to say I save it for a video. Unfortunately, this cannot wait until this Sunday’s RPG Die Gest — though I will discuss it there as well (21 June 2020 @ 11:00 a.m Central on https://twitch.tv/legionofmyth).

Here is the article about which I now rant. Please read it then come back here.

“One of the explicit design goals of 5th edition D&D is to depict humanity in all its beautiful diversity by depicting characters who represent an array of ethnicities, gender identities, sexual orientations, and beliefs.”

Why did you have to mention sex and gender twice?

Orcs aren’t humans. The strength of humans in a fantasy TTRPG, especially Dungeons and Dragons, is our diversity. The other species are the embodiment of stereotypes. Not racial stereotypes, but rather thematic stereotypes. This stereotyping is intentional and necessary.  Wizards of the Coast will (without evidence) state that orcs are somehow related to real world blacks.  Funny, none of the African Americans I have gamed with ever thought that.  In fact, Tolkien-esque orcs, on which the Dungeons and Dragons orcs are based, are actually based on the German war machine.

Elves are not humans with pointed ears. Dwarves are not humans with beards. Orcs are not humans having a bad day. Demi-humans, meta-humans, or whatever you want to call them are literally the embodiment and personification of a thematic (not a real-world racial) stereotype. If you cannot accept this you should play a game that only has humans in it, because you’re too stupid to play Dungeons and Dragons.

““Human” in D&D means everyone, not just fantasy versions of northern Europeans, and the D&D community is now more diverse than it’s ever been.”

Correction: “Human” in D&D means fantasy versions of all humans, not just fantasy versions of northern Europeans, and the D&D community is now more diverse than it’s ever been. However, “human” does not include elf, dwarf, gnome, halfling, orc, drow, or any other fictitious fantasy species.

“Throughout the 50-year history of D&D, some of the peoples in the game—orcs and drow being two of the prime examples—have been characterized as monstrous and evil, using descriptions that are painfully reminiscent of how real-world ethnic groups have been and continue to be denigrated.”

First of all, what kind of moron sees himself as an elf, dwarf or orc? Anyone who identifies with or feels represented by a make-believe species has many more mental problems than anything a tabletop role-playing game can fix. Characters represent characters, not real people. The point of role-playing is to get away from the real world and the real person you are; to play something different and interesting — it is literal escapism.

Secondly, human nature is human nature. Some will seek to uplift while other will seek to denigrate. This is represented in stories for the sake of building tension and conflict, and to add life and metaphoric color to the world.  The one thing all rational people can agree upon is that in Dungeons and Dragons, drow and orcs are evil; monsters. End of story.  I even created a video that dives into the world view of a Dungeons and Dragons orc.  (It’s old and the audio quality is poor, but it’s still good information.)

“We present orcs and drow in a new light in two of our most recent books, Eberron: Rising from the Last War and Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount. In those books, orcs and drow are just as morally and culturally complex as other peoples. We will continue that approach in future books, portraying all the peoples of D&D in relatable ways and making it clear that they are as free as humans to decide who they are and what they do.”

They are monster species based on personified, thematic stereotypes. They are NOT human, nor do they have human sensibilities. By turning them into green humans and jet-black humans you are both cheapening the human species within the game, as well as showing you do not understand the hobby in which you work.

“Later this year, we will release a product (not yet announced) that offers a way for a player to customize their character’s origin, including the option to change the ability score increases that come from being an elf, a dwarf, or one of D&D’s many other playable folk. This option emphasizes that each person in the game is an individual with capabilities all their own.”

So, you are removing all of the things that make an elf and elf and a dwarf a dwarf. You already neutered the species in 3rd edition, I guess you’re finishing the job now, huh?

“Curse of Strahd included a people known as the Vistani and featured the Vistani heroine Ezmerelda. Regrettably, their depiction echoes some stereotypes associated with the Romani people in the real world. To rectify that, we’ve not only made changes to Curse of Strahd, but in two upcoming books, we will also show—working with a Romani consultant—the Vistani in a way that doesn’t rely on reductive tropes.”

Who cares if the depiction echoes some stereotypes associated with the Romani people in the real world? The Vistani people are not real! They are fictional characters in the shadow realm of a fictional game world. Instead of changing fictional characters how about educating real world people about the real world Romani?

You will not find a fantasy… anything… that does not include some sort of trope or stereotype; at least not a good story or depiction.

“We’ve received valuable insights from sensitivity readers on two of our recent books. We are incorporating sensitivity readers into our creative process, and we will continue to reach out to experts in various fields to help us identify our blind spots.”

Corrected: We’ve received valuable insights from bullshit artists who don’t play Dungeons and Dragons or purchase our products on two of our recent books. We are incorporating whiners who cannot be gainfully employed in any other manner into our creative process, and we will continue to reach out to so-called experts in various fields to help us make up perceived blind spots.

“And we will continue to listen to you all. We created 5th edition in conversation with the D&D community. It’s a conversation that continues to this day. That’s at the heart of our work—listening to the community, learning what brings you joy, and doing everything we can to provide it in every one of our books.”

So, unless it goes against your bleeding-heart bullshit, where escapism must somehow be related to real world aggrievement, you’ll listen with your soy-colored ears.  The thing is, you don’t actually listen outside your own echo chamber. You only want your social agenda programmed into your game.  As I type this even left-wing stalwarts and African Americans themselves are lashing out against you.

Sure, Wizards of the Coast RPG 3rd edition (aka: DnD 5e) is a popular game.  It’s popular because you stole the most famous name in tabletop gaming, and in the modern world of YouTube and social media it’s easy to market your filth to the vocal minority on Twitter. If the Dungeons and Dragons brand was on a Palladium or GURPS product, or any OSR product, in this same era of social media, that flavor of Dungeons and Dragons would be just as popular.

Wizards of the Coast should be renamed as Tampons of the Coast because they are nothing more than bleeding pussies.  Nothing they wish to change was ever problematic, unwelcoming, negative, mistakes, or denigrating to anyone with a rational mind. If you truly believe that 1) orcs are not monsters and 2) they represent some real-world ethnic group YOU are the problem. Get the fuck out of my hobby! The hobby in which I actually play and spend money.


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